November 9th, Come Quickly, You Magnificent Beast

For the love of all that is good and pure in this world, November 9th, come quickly. That's right, I said the 9th. Not the 8th, when we all have to do our civic duty and vote for one of the impossibly awful candidates who we've determined to be the best we can get. I want the day after election day to come quickly and shine its glorious light on us, so that we can finally be done with this sh*t storm of an election.

I wanted Bernie. Still do. I keep trying to convince myself that there is still a candidate worth voting for, but I just can't buy into it. The three main reasons I've been told repeatedly that I should vote for Hillary are::

1. She's a woman. I'm a woman. Ipso facto, I should vote her.
Let's be real: my vagina has nothing to do with my vote. AND IT SHOULDN'T! Anything related to a person's genitalia (the size of Trump's "hands")and how that qualifies them for the presidency should immediately be dismissed.

2. She's the closest to my values.
Eh, except that my values don't really include dishonesty, a barrage of lies, and a general shadiness that I can't quite pinpoint. "But Shelly," they say, "just because she rubs you the wrong way doesn't mean she isn't qualified." I'll give you that one. She's spent her life in politics, and at some point, I believe she probably did it because she wanted to make a difference. But after years in said politics, it seems unlikely that she hasn't been swayed by the negative aspects in her rise to power. Sure, she isn't a racist bigot like her opponent, but that should really be a given when you're talking about someone who is going to be POTUS.

3. We need to make sure Trump doesn't get in office.
Well, this one I can almost stand behind. The thought of that man in office terrifies me. As someone who has experienced sexual assault, specifically being, as he so eloquently put it, "grabbed by the p*ssy," I can't accept his words as "locker room talk." He says they are just words, but these words are powerful and damaging, and give permission for other men to do the same. I don't believe that he intends for his words to do that, because if I thought he meant to make those actions permissible for all, I'd rather go hide in a hole somewhere and wait to die than to experience Trump's America.

His callous words aren't the only reason my disdain for him seems to grow stronger each day. His experience in the business world would be valuable, but his inexperience in every other facet of government makes him laughable. The rest of the world probably thinks Ashton Kutcher has somehow rigged the election and they're being Punk'd. Were I not living in this strange world where my neighbors, coworkers, and family are actually voting for the man, I'd feel that way as well.

There's plenty of argument for 3rd party candidates in this election, but we all know they won't win. So we are left with these two people and told to vote for the "lesser of two evils." As I've stated before, I don't feel like I should have to vote for evil. I want to vote for someone I can trust to do the right thing, even when its hard. I don't trust either of them to do the right thing.

Where does that leave me and the others who feel like I do? Stuck between a rock and a hard place, waiting for it all to be over.