The Trouble With Letting Go of Bernie

​Let’s remove ourselves from the conversation of whether or not the primaries were rigged. Let’s not talk about Debbie Wasserman Shultz resignation or the emails. Instead, I want to talk to you about why it is so difficult for people to let go of Bernie.
 
Like many Bernie supporters, I’ve never been involved in politics. I’ve voted in the presidential elections, sure, but this was the first election year where I participated in a primary. It was my first time going to a rally. I followed the debates and speeches with interest, for the first time. I was actively creating opportunities for discussions with family, friends, and coworkers about current issues. Some of you out there are already rolling your eyes and shaking your head that someone in their thirties has been so reckless with democracy that they didn’t pay attention in the last four elections. And you’re right. I was careless with my country and its leadership; however, I’m awake now.
 
I’ve woken up in a tumultuous time. I’ve awoken amidst scandal and distrust in my party, while anger and discord are being spread by the other. There is a war between the aisles, with both sides touting the phrase, “Vote for the lesser of two evils,” and both being sure that their candidate is that choice. It is those very words that haunt many voters. Why should we have to vote for any evil? Don’t we deserve better? And if the answer is yes, if we do deserve better than the choice we’ve been given, what can we do about it?
 
This is the point where Bernie supporters find it hard to get behind Clinton. We understand why he has thrown his support behind her: if he can’t have the nomination, he will use his influence to try to unite the party to avoid a Trump presidency. It’s logical, and many of his supporters have accepted it. But then there are those of us who simply can’t accept it. For the first time in our lives, we are awake, active, and participating in the political process. If we let go of Bernie and our loyalty to him, it feels like we are willing ourselves back to sleep, our dreams better than the reality we’ve found.
 
We were given hope; indeed, Bernie has been a beacon to us, a rallying point uniting those of us who have previously had no involvement in politics because we thought we couldn’t change anything. Some of us aren’t ready to relinquish that hope and go back to believing that we have no say.
 
I don’t blame Bernie for standing behind Hillary Clinton. I don’t blame her for fighting for the nomination. But I am not at a point where I can fall in line behind her and be okay with the things that have happened over the course of this primary season. Of course I will not be voting for Trump; despite the Democrats’ faults, nothing could persuade me to vote for a man who regularly spews bigotry and hatred. Unfortunately, the third party options would only further guarantee a Trump presidency. My only other option is to cast no vote, which simply emphasizes the fact that my vote doesn’t matter in the first place. That’s a hard place to land.
 
Where do we go from here? That’s a question that I can’t answer. Bernie is trying to pave a way into the Democratic Party for us, and help us stand behind the nominee, but it’s not an easy task to pull behind someone who hasn’t given us the same hope that he has. I don’t know what will happen between now and the election, and honestly, I’m not sure what has to happen to sway my vote to Hillary. Eight years ago, I would’ve voted for her. Now? There have been too many things that have gone unanswered for me to trust her. I know this is a point of contention with her supporters, but I’m sure you’ll find that most of us on the fence feel this way, and are still looking for answers from her.
 
In the end, I find that I’m left with more indecision each day. I have a little more than three months to find the answers I’m looking for, to find a place to put my hope. When all is said and done, I still want to find a candidate to believe in.